List of Clams

From Austin Storm
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Clams are jokes that aren't funny anymore because of overuse. They "evoking the rhythm of comedy without the content of comedy. They’re not just cliché; they’re hollow." (John August)

John Quaintance posted a list of clams to avoid from the writer's room of Workaholics. [1]

___? More Like ___.
Can You Not?
…I Can Explain!
Let’s Not And Say We Did
I Didn’t Not ___
Wait For It…
Just Threw Up In My Mouth.
Good Talk
And By ___ I Mean ___
Check Please!
Shut The Front Door!
Lady Boner
I Think That Came Out Wrong.
Uh…Define ___.
No? Just Me.
Why Are We Whispering?
That Went Well…
Stay Classy
I’m A Hot Mess!
That’s Not A Thing
It’s Science
Bacon Anything
Real Talk
(hashtag) #Nailed It
Awesome Sauce
Thanks…I Guess
Little Help?
Laughy McLaugherson
___ Dot Com
I Love Lamp.
Oh Helllll Naw!
(hashtag) #Epic Fail
Did I Just Say That Out Loud?
Food Baby
Douche (Nozzle)
Soooo, That Just Happened
Squad Goals
I Just Peed A Little
Too Soon?
Spoiler Alert
Um…In English Please
Note To Self
Life Hack
Best. ___. Ever. (or Worst. ___. Ever.)
It’s Giving Me All The Feels.
Garbage People
That Happened One Time!
Well Played
I’m Right Here!
Hard Pass
Are You Having A Stroke?
Go Sports!
Zero Fucks Given
We Have Fun
Who Hurt You?
I Absorbed My Twin In The Womb
I’ll Take ___ For $500, Alex.
Thanks Obama
Wait, What?
Shots Fired
You Assclown
Bag Of Dicks
Hey, Don’t Help.
Debbie Downer
I Can’t Unsee That.
That Just Happened.
See What I Did There?
I’ll Show Myself Out.
Here’s The Line, Here’s You.
___ On Steroids/Crack.
Swipe Right.
White People Problems.
I Could Tell You But I’d Have To Kill You.
That’s Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
I Think We’re Done Here

To these, I'd add:

  • _____... said no one ever.
  • Boom
  • Done and done.
  • He's standing right behind me, isn't he?
  • The internets and the interwebs
  • I just threw up in my mouth.
  • I'm dead inside.
  • X (year) called, they want their (apparently anachronistic) X back
  • Because *noun
  • Sorry, not sorry.
  • That escalated quickly.