Thou Art Not As I Have Conceived Thee

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Thou Art Not As I Have Conceived Thee
by Thomas Merton

Lord, it is nearly midnight and I am waiting for You
in the darkness and the great silence.
I am sorry for all my sins.
Do not let me ask any more than to sit in the darkness
and light no lights of my own,
and be crowded with no crowds of my own thoughts
to fill the emptiness of the night in which I await You.

Your brightness is my darkness.
I know nothing of you and, by myself,
I cannot even imagine how to go about knowing you.
If I imagine you, I am mistaken.
If I understand you, I am deluded.
If I am conscious and certain
I know you, I am crazy.
The darkness is enough.